Becoming a mother is a true revolution in a woman's life. One would say birth is the fundamental act essential for the survival and continuation of a species. It sounds so basic but if it comes to a human being when our pelvises are generally smaller and more compact compared to the pelvises of many other mammals. Then we have to carry a heavy pregnancy only on two legs, not four. Human recovery from pregnancy is much longer and giving birth is very dangerous and brutal. What differentiates us from other species is advanced cognitive abilities, complex language, social structures, and capacity for cultural evolution. I would assume that complex reasoning, a sense of morality, and ethics would help us women to be supported by society through this hard brutal time and trying to adapt to the new reality. But the more advanced and wealthy society, the woman is becoming more lonely as a mum and less help she gets from the village. Which doesn't make this hard time enough. Yes, the healthcare is much more advanced to keep us and our babies alive and healthy, physically yes we are looked after much better than our mums and grannies but mentally woman is neglected, abandoned and left alone, the state mainly offers expensive childcare to be able to get back to work if we can't effort it we don't have much choice. Society offer woman endless advises and tips how to do things better, better means their way.
I remember when struggling the breastfeeding I asked for help the charity group who were supporting women in breastfeeding. A lovely lady came to my house and said that the pain is normal and is normal to be sad and to feel frustrated but I am not alone in this pain because she is there for me and there is always formula if it is too much for me. These magic words helped me to accept the situation, changed everything and I magically have found my own way to feed my baby. Two books about breastfeeding and many advises and opinions from others were a waste of time and only put more pressure on me.
New mum doesn't need people around her with their better experiences and “wisdom” she needs to know she is not alone and she will find her own strength. The village shouldn't judge, put pressure, the village should be there for woman giving her freedom of choice. The birth is not just giving birth to a baby ,the mother is reborn herself we should support her with this transformation so she can regrow stronger to become newer and more herself. The concept of the village has changed, the village is everyone around the new mum, village is the state which creates the legislation, village is the school , the village is the employer, village is the guy passing by, a man who could spare grim look at woman who is trying to handle toddler's tantrum in the middle of the pavement. As a human species we are holding unique gifts, we are capable to understand and share the feeling of others, a new mum needs others compassion a lot. Strangely enough I witnessed example of love and compassion watching family of elephants in Kenya. The way how they look after each other can teach us humans and remind us that simple gestures not necessarily verbal makes huge difference.